Behind 13 Bannerman Road: Designing the Sarah Jane Adventures Collection
After the surprisingly incident-free launch of our Torchwood Collection (if you ignore the three mugs that developed sentience and applied for UNIT positions), the Time-Space Merchandising Division decided we were just the team to tackle Sarah Jane Smith's legacy. Naturally, we approached this with all the careful planning and foresight that our previous collections were known for—which is to say, Karl immediately knocked over Mr. Smith's prototype mug and nearly opened a wormhole to the Crimson Heart nebula.
Our design headquarters temporarily relocated to an attic in Ealing that looked suspiciously like Sarah Jane's, though our landlady kept insisting she was "definitely not an alien refugee from the Bane Mother." The rent was reasonable, and she made excellent tea that only occasionally glowed blue, so we didn't ask questions.
The collection naturally organized itself around the different teams that aided Sarah Jane in her adventures. Glug, Graske designer, insisted this was the correct approach, citing something about "human attachment to social groupings" before returning to what appeared to be a game of interdimensional chess with an empty chair. (We've learned not to interrupt these matches after The Tuesday Incident.)
The Original Gang Collection
The first mug honours Sarah Jane's original team: Luke, Clyde, and Maria. Karl spent three days perfecting Luke's expression, arguing that "genetically engineered facial features require precise linework." The result was worth it.
Maria's design features a letter swarm on a swirling background that, according to several customers, occasionally reorganizes itself to spell out "The Trickster is watching."
Our quality control team insists this is just a coincidence and definitely not the result of Karl accidentally spilling quantum ink during his lunch break.
We topped that off with another design featuring some of the foes the gang faced in their time together.
The Bannerman Road Gang Expansion
When Rani joined the team replacing Maria, our designers faced what Glug dramatically called "The Great Team Transition Crisis." How do you acknowledge a new team dynamic while honouring the original? The solution came when Janet (our reformed Weevil office manager) suggested transition designs that change depending on viewing angle but it needed Rift Energy to power it, so….nah!
She sulked for a day, you’d never know, and presented a gem of a design featuring the New Gang and even managed slip in some villains. (All the while muttering that Glug should never have touched her cheese sandwich – that is why it’s actually him depicted as a rascally Graske. Dudes furious!)
Anyway, Glug came back in less than 24 hours with a design for the Season 2 foes AND Season 3 foes! Absolutely delightful – apart from one tiny detail.
In the original design files, the layer behind Sarah Jane is a picture of Janet dancing on the tables at the Xmas Party. When quizzed, “What’s the point? No-one will ever know.” Glug replied, “I know it’s there…” Tipped a wink and wandered off to the break-room like a mini John Wayne.
The Final Team Collection
For the collection featuring Sky Smith and the final team configuration, we went for something special and we think we do good. (We being Mr Smith’s cousin, Mr. Brown, who designed the whole thing whilst averting a major Carnivorous Void outbreak, thanks again, Karl.
Production Challenges
The collection wasn't without its development hiccups. The prototype K-9 mug kept trying to interface with coffee machines and ordering "Maximum caffeine" for everyone in the vicinity. The Androvax design had to be scrapped entirely after it started possessing other merchandise.
Both designs were unfortunately much too hazardous for sale to the General Public and shelved
Our biggest challenge came during the final production phase when every single Trickster-related design mysteriously changed to show alternate timelines where Sarah Jane never met The Doctor. Glug insisted this was just "standard timeline bleed" and fixed it with what looked suspiciously like a sonic lipstick, but even tinier.
The Launch
The collection launched last week at UNIT HQ's gift shop (accessible only through revolving doors that may or may not exist depending on government funding). Sales have exceeded expectations, though we've received several reports of customers suddenly having memories of adventures they never experienced.
Available now at all reputable Whoniverse retailers called soapbox169.
Warning: Keep designs away from attics, school science fairs, and mysterious wedding venues. A very small number of Final Gang design mugs may attempt to convince your smart home system it’s a coffee peculator. (You pays the money, you takes the chances...)
Next Month: Our upcoming "Paternoster Gang" tea set collection – Because nothing says "Victorian crime-fighting trio" like fine china that occasionally hisses at unwanted guests.
May or may not go into production. Probably not.